Big Time Drama in the Adjoining Cubicle

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About My Cube-Mate (But Were Afraid to Ask Dionne Warwick)

I don't have a crystal ball, but thanks to the magic of Dionne Warwick's Cosmic Peephole I know know more that I ever wanted to about my cube-mate.

For example:

My Cube-mate really has to go to the bathroom, but is too terrified of "potty seat creepies."

My Cube-mate is secretly engaged in an adulterous tryst with a Nordic hunchback named Sven.

My Cube-mate actually thinks drinking diet soda will help melt that fat ass.

My Cube-mate thinks people who wear yellow on Tuesdays are totally into golden showers.

My Cube-mate dreams of making a cool $1500 on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."

My Cube-mate doesn’t even feel guilty for making fun of that little crippled girl.

My challenge to you, Einstein, is to figure out which one of those insights really isn't a lie.


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