Big Time Drama in the Adjoining Cubicle

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Thoughtfulness

Every once in a while a new person chimes in. I particularly liked this snippet from a recently overheard telephone conversation:

TEMP: "Well, she probably hasn't gotten any of my messages cause I only leave her messages when she is sober."

Ok, so how does she know she isn't sober if she doesn't...........Ah, never mind.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Things That Go Boom

"So, I was just in the bathroom and I heard the loudest fart EVAR! I wanted to stick around and say 'Excuse you!' but would that be polite to do? I don't think so. So, I was like damn, do you need a plumber in here?!?"

Snot

My cubemate has been incredibly silent lately, hardly uttering a word that wasn't relevant and worksafe, but I think she's finally starting to revert. It's not much, but when she says "I need a tissue, Office Guy. There's something in my nose that's gross!" you know happy days are here again.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Next contestant

and now a few words from our "other" CUBEMATE

OTHER OFFICE GUY'S CUBEMATE (OOGC): How long does it take to drive from Seattle to Anchorage?

ME: 8 hours.

OOGC: Really? Wow. Wait! You're lying!

ME: Yeah, it really takes 2 weeks, but you really have to push it.

OOGC: Oh. I was thinking of taking a vacation, but that's too long.

Makes me wonder if she ever heard of the Wright Brothers?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Jerry Springer here we come!

"MY SMALL TOWN had like 25 men, and only one girl. I loved it! Well, except for I was related to everbody though...."

Friday, August 05, 2005

It's not mean if they're ugly.

"So, SOME OFFICE GUY, how many dates do you have this weekend?"

After a little bit of though, I respond: "Seven."

"Seven? How do you do it? My cousin wants me to chill with her this weekend, but I don't want to because she is soo boring."

I perk up my ears. I can see comic gold on the horizon. But before I can respond, OTHER OFFICE GUY'S Cubemate pipes in: "That's not very nice, Cubemate."

"No, it's true. She's really smart though. I used to have her do my homework for me and stuff."

"Just because you're smart you can't be fun?" I ask, offended. After all, I'm smart, and have seven dates this weekend.

"Yeah! She's really ugly too, so it's not like I'm being mean. I'm just honest!"

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Redneck wisdom

One of my uncle's from down-home Jaw-jah (there's a lot of them) has a saying: "Fish where the fish are." Apparently this little nugget of wisdom has eluded CUBEMATE'S grasp.

"I don't know why I have such a problem meeting a normal guy! I mean, every time I go to the gay bar, lots of guys talk to me and all, but they're either really feminine or they are drag queens!"