Big Time Drama in the Adjoining Cubicle

Monday, November 21, 2005

A random synapse fires

CUBEMATE: "SOME OFFICE GUY, why is it all my MIND NUMBING CLERICAL DUTY happen for the month of August? Is there something going on that time of year that causes it? OMG I am SOOOOOO hungry! It's strange that all of these happen at once is all I am saying."

Friday, November 18, 2005

Whats Under There?

So I'm sitting at my desk, playing with my fancy new iPod when Cubemate decides it's high time to stand up and make an announcement. " Oh! oh! oh! You know what I have to do before I do anything else? I've got to show off my underwear!"

"What did you just say???" I ask, as my head snaps around?

"I said since I'm showing off my underwear, I might as well water the plants." As if that makes it better.

"I'm pretty sure you just said 'OH! oh! oh! I've got to show off my underwear."

About then, the new and incredibly dingy beanie wearing temp wakes up and says "What, Some office Guy, you are showing off your underwear?!?!"

"No, I reply. I'm not showing anything."

"Other Office Guy said you were."

"How did I get involved in this?" Other Office Guy asks.

"Oh yeah!" says cubemate "Some Office Guy and Other Office Guy are so going to show off there underwear!"

"Negative" says Other Office Guy

"Right. This is getting out of hand. Time for me to go home." I say

"What's the matter," replies cubemate, " Oh my god, you're not wearing any, are you?"

A new contender?

Sometimes it isn't alway's CUBEMATE: I submit this little brain-cramp as an example:

ACCOUNTING ELF: "I just got an e-mail from my boyfreind in Iraq!"

OTHER OFFICE GUYS CUBEMATE: "Really? Is he OK?"

ACCOUNTING ELF: "Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back I still want a picture of him in his panties, though."


Ouch.....me poor head...........

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Law and Order

Cubemate: Wow, the cops are here! I wonder if there hot?

Some Office Guy: There's cops here?

Cubemate: Yeah, look out the window. Those are cops. I bet they're hot. You know, I love cops. Most people are like 'whatever' but I love them. Cops are so hot.

Contract Accounting Drone: You should join the police academy. Then you can be cop too.

Cubemate: No, I like to shoot things, but I don't want to be a cop. I just want to have one of my own.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Get in my Belly

Tuesday's words of wisdom, courtesy of the all knowing Cubemate:

"My belly hurts. Why are you looking at me like that? No, I'm serious, its so sore. If it wasn't as soft was it was, I'd think there was a baby in it."

Friday, November 11, 2005

Check Websters

So, I am wandering down the hall, immersed in the enormous complexity of navigating the maze that is our governments A/P system, when this little gem bounces over CUBEMATES wall at full volume:

"What's a camel toe?"

Monday, November 07, 2005

Good Housekeeping

Cubemate's wisdom for the day:

"You know if DIRTY LAZY FRIEND asked to stay with me, I would put her in my shed. I know that sounds awful, but it has everything but running water. I mean, it's where I put my mother. It's probably the best thing, because I don't think our friendship could survive her moving in if she wasn't in the shed..."

Friday, November 04, 2005

Did she even hear me?

ME: (surfing on-line for a headboard for my daughters room) What's larger, a Queen or a King size?

CUBEMATE: What?

ME: Is a King or a Queen size bed larger?

CUBEMATE: ............I dunno. I know nothing about cars.

Thank God for Small Favors

"You know, Some Office Guy, at least I can honestly say that even if I oversleep and am going to be late to work, I'll at least take a shower before I grace you guys with my presence."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Did I hear you right?

Cubemate (out of the blue): "I made him give me money last night.."

Some Office Guy: "Who?"

Cubemate: "$40!"

SOG: "Who?"

Cubemate: "The CONVICT!"

SOG: "What? Why are you still talking to him?"

Cubemate: "Because he was buying porn."