Big Time Drama in the Adjoining Cubicle

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A shining moment in Redneck history

4 days and 30 some-odd plus years ago, a small woman living in a one-room cabin somewhere in the Okeephenokee Swamps began feeling labor pains, and roughly 109 hours worth of labor later, OOGS sprang into the world.

And sh*t's been going downhill ever since.

After spending a normal childhood doing normal, childhood things such as huntin' gators, Frog Giggin, and peeing on 'Lectric Fences (although he may have spent just a bit too much time doing the latter), our intrepid hero decided to serve his country and enlisted in the United States Armed Forces.

And Bubbaism went overseas.

After spending some fair amount of time impressing the fair Fraulein's with his impressive knowledge of Brain Tumor's and cable communication's ( or was that "Communicating with his cable"?) OOGS returned to these here United States and located himself in the warm, tropical climate of the North. Sadly, during his time away, Redneck's had become an almost endangered species, so OOGS decided it was time to do the right thing and find himself a mate to perpetuate the species.

Thankfully, the offspring turned out to be a lot better looking than the parents.

And so, we return to the present day, where OOGS is now one more birthday closer to the grave. Happy Birthday, OOGS. I am proud to know ya. May today bring you everything you want.


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