Big Time Drama in the Adjoining Cubicle

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Intermission

I took 9th in this event last year, so it's time to try it agian.

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476



Now back to your regularly scheduled Cubemate

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Because they are so similar, y'know?

LESBIAN TEMP: "Hey, CUBEMATE! You've been to Hawaii, right?"

CUBEMATE: "No, but I have been to Idaho!"

Monday, May 22, 2006

Pet aisle? Or childrens play area?

CUBEMATE: "So last night EASY FREIND calls me and says "I'm at the store, need me to pick up anything?" and so I said "Yeah, pick up a few bachelors." She called me back a few minutes later and says "Ok, I have the bachelors.........""

Friday, May 19, 2006

CUBEMATE's study on pain tolerances

Interesting experiment CUBEMATE seems to be conducting today on how high a tolerance for pain SOME OFFICE GUY has. As best I can tell, it is a 4 step process.

Step 1: Set ringtone to play "Girls just wanna have fun."

Step 2: Leave the area.

Step 3: Have stable of boyfreinds call CONTINUOUSLY. (most important part)

Step 4: Watch as SOG goes insane.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Driving Miss Daisy

Things have been real quiet around here of late, but patience paid off around lunchtime today:

CUBEMATE: (Speaking to no one in particular) "Wow! That is a big car. I mean, that is a really, really big car. *Giggle* That car is HUGE! The only reason you would have a car that size is to have a lot of sex in it, right?"

I can't help it. I have to look. Yes, out in the parking lot there is a large car. It also happens to be a HEARSE, so I have my doubts about her reasoning unless you are into that sort of thing. (not that there is anything wrong with that)

Minutes later, as I am typing this up, comes Part II:

SUPERVISORS PET: "Wait a sec, CUBEMATE, don't you have a big car?"

CUBEMATE: "Oh, yeah! I have an SUV!"

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Pot meet Kettle. Kettle....Pot.

Overheard bright and early this morning:

I swear EASY FREIND is driving me NUTS! She goes out partying all the time, she picks up guys who are total strangers and makes out with them, and she says some of the strangest things that just make you go "Huh?"

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

She wont stop..............

CUBEMATE: "So, SOG, should I tell my GAY COUSIN that my sister is coming to town?"

SOG: "I don't know! Will he even care?"

CUBEMATE: "I think so. I did three-way one time."



I sure hope that was taken out of context.

Late Filing Penalty

Cubemate, is back from lunch. You can tell by the high decibel monologue as she walks to her desk from the elevator.

Cubemate: "Oh my God, you guys, we all need to pray for EASY FRIEND. Uh huh, she's going straight to hell. Straight to hell! You wouldn't believe some of the things she was saying!. First she didn't get her tax return yet and it's May 9th, then she didn't get her native check, and that's like 100 shares, so I don't know how much money it was, but its a lot so she was...

Other Office Guy: Wait a second, the IRS sends you to hell for not filing your taxes? Eternal damnation seems a bit excessive a penalty to me.

Cubemate: No she filed her taxes but they didn't give her money yet and now she is saying that all children should die and that the illegal immigrants should be lined up thrown in pits, I can't even tell you all the other stuff she said because its sending her straight to hell and all I could tell her was Karma. Karma karma karma. She's SO going to hell.

Supervisor's Pet: Wait she's shooting kids why? It's not right to shoot kids.

Cubemate: Because she doesn't have any money and she's going out partying all the time. And its not like anyone likes her anyway. She's so going to HELL.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Love is in the air

I really don't know how many kids SUPERVISORS PET has. Truth be told I have never cared enough to ask. Apparently it's not enough, however, given the advice she is giving her friends.

Just lock the kid in his room. That should give you two at least 1/2 an hour to get it on. Come on! You know how much I love kids!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Bathroom stall, perhaps?

Pretty quiet today, what with SOG flying around the country. Quiet enough for me to catch this one-sided exchange from 2 cubes over:

CUBEMATE: Hello? Oh, HI! How are you? What are you up to? Uh huh, uh huh......Oh, I know! Isn't that nuts? yeah.......yeah.......I don't know what I am doing tomorrow night. Probably going out drinking at THE GAY BAR. But if you wanted to stop by after and hook up that would be cool! Yeah, ok, uh huh. Oh, By the way, where did you get my number?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Brush With Greatness

Memo to myself: Try not to get caught on an elevator with Cubemate and the BIG CHEESE. No, not a department level big cheese, or even some kind of divisional big cheese. I'm talking the company wide, every single one of you works for me, I make more money than God BIG BIG CHEESE.

BIG BIG CHEESE: Good Morning. It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

CUBEMATE: OMG yes it is and, I am so loving it. I can finally take the sweaters off my dogs. Those poor little things have to wear sweaters all winter, they are so cute, especially POOR EMASCULATED BOY DOG, But now I only have to put sweaters on them when its raining or when I take them places. I think they like to dress up though.

BIG BIG CHEESE: ...

Cubemate: The only other thing I rally don't like about summer is the sun stays up all the time and it makes it hard to sleep, but I am not going to complain if means that I get to finally get a tan so I don't look like a white girl.

BIG BIG CHEESE: ...

Cubemate: Okay this is our stop. Have a great day BIG BIG CHEESE.